Thursday, July 23, 2009

calm out of chaos

I have been doing a lot of painting lately...house painting, that is. Terry and I are painting the inside of our house and we have a fast-approaching deadline of August 7th...that's when our company arrives, my dear friends from high school. I know they don't care what the house looks like, but I care and I want it to look good (not just for them, but for us as well). Anyway, the other day I started painting the kitchen and I found myself in a bit of a frenzy. My mind was racing: Will we ever get it done in time? Why am I not faster at this? Why doesn't it look perfect? I was starting to panic and I could feel myself starting to unravel. I was afraid to stop for the day, but Terry convinced me that pacing myself was crucial, so I stopped.

I went upstairs to do my daily "paint-every-day-that-I'm-home" discipline, but I didn't feel like working on any of the pieces I currently have going. I grabbed a piece of primed paper, picked up a brush and just went for it, with no plan or preconceived notion. I expected that whatever would come out of me at that moment would be high-energy and jumbled. What did come out had a very gentle, peaceful flow, with lots of curves and softness. It resembles an abstract female form with her arms raised overhead in a joyful, receptive posture...and it made me feel better instantly.

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